gold rush.

The crunch of the gravel under my heels felt so loud. In fact, everything seemed like it had been turned up 1000% - my heart felt like it was going to burst out my chest; the sun seemed too bright, the grass too green. I had done this so many times and yet never felt any less nervous in the moments before. 

I casually glanced behind me to see if anyone was looking. Thankfully no-one else was there, and I had seen the valet sneak off for a smoke with the doorman after I handed him my keys. The coast was clear. I stopped for a moment, smoothed down my dress and caught my breath. I can do this, I repeated as a rythmic chant in my head. I. Can. Do. This. 

I reached into my purse for my pocket mirror for one last visual check. Not a hair out of place, nor a single smudge in my makeup. I was ready. I. Can. Do. This. 

One, two, three, four, five more steps through the gravel and I was onto the solid stone stairs leading up to the chateau. I straightened my back and relaxed my shoulders. The illusion of confidence is everything. 

Climbing up to the entrance the first thing I clocked was the gold fountain in the middle of the hallway. Jesus. New money Americans had zero fucking taste. As I got closer I saw the black and white chequered tile that covered the entire room, making it feel like the walls were closing in, and the garish gold lion statues keeping guard of the home. 

I mentally prepared myself for a night of loud, obnoxious chatter, and prayed for some fellow Europeans to falsely form an alliance of vitriol with. None of these people were my friends. But I may as well have a good time whilst I'm here. 

See, there is an art to fitting in. It's why I'm so good at what I do - especially when I take on last minute jobs like this. Usually you would have time to research into the guests, their interests, their mannerisms, and you can blend in seamlessly into their world. 

However when a job needs done, it needs done. And I'm their golden girl for fitting in anywhere last minute.

A quick Google of the venue, a scouring of Instagram and some random luck finding the chefs tailored menu for the evening online meant I knew exactly how to dress, speak and what conversational cards I had to bring.

Yes, dressing expensive is key. But at a party like this it's about subtlety - even if the hosts are garish and over the top, the guests will likely be bitching about exactly that. You don't wear Louboutin's to an event like this. Those bright red soles are obviously expensive and it's highly frowned upon. No, you wear Celine and make sure that there is not a logo nor scratch in sight. 

Old money is subtle. New money is loud. Figure out the money, figure out the crowd. 

Thankfully, just as I walked in a waiter was right where I needed them - a sip of champagne would help disguise the gagging motion I wanted to make surrounded by this vulgar interior design. I was also worried at what other aesthetic choices I was about to witness.

Ahead was an imperial staircase: a further testament to the illusion of royalty these yanks were obsessed with, and something to easily exploit. People were dotted around the place - small groups of intimate conversation and chatter in full swing. I locked eyes and smiled at a couple of the guests. It's about putting the doubt in their mind that they really do know you from somewhere, but that they're so terribly sorry that they just can't place you. They're just terrible with faces sometimes, aren't they darling? People will always do their best to correct their guilt, even if it isn't real. 

I made my way around, checking out the layout of this once grand chateau. I noticed someone was eyeing me up, suspicious that I was scouring the place to ransack somehow. The best thing to do is confront them in these occasions - I put on my best doe-eyed innocent face, pinched my cheeks to make them flush, and approached them with a hand on the arm.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry to be so embarrassing... I think the bubbles have went to my head a little. Do you have any idea where the restrooms are? It's a maze here, I swear"

His previous side-eye switched to a smirk. "You girls and your champagne - you're so damn skinny you forget it just fills you right up and gets you into a tizzy like this. Let me chaperone you to the restroom angel - we'll make sure you don't get lost or into the wrong hands huh" 

Ugh, fucking hell. At least he was obvious to figure out. He wanted to be a knight in shining armour, and me, his damsel in distress. I played a little more into the drunk thing and stumbled a little. 

"Oh, thank you so much. I'm not usually like this, I promise. How embarrassing."

He grabbed me and pulled me closer into him. I could smell the gross mix of whisky and sweat on his breath. I crossed my fingers that the bathrooms were nearby. 

He led me through the room, diving round small groups, back into the main hall, and off to a quiet corridor that led to the East wing of the property. Alarm bells. There was always chatter near the women's bathroom, and the only noise I heard was that from the rooms I had just been led through. I bought myself some time and went over on my ankle, bashing my hip against the console.

"These shoes, ugh I just never know why I wear them, I can never walk in them after a few drinks" 

I stopped to slide them off, shoulder leaning against the wall and away from his body. He moved his body on top of me before his grubby hands grabbed my ass and shoved my back against the wall.

"Before you head off to the little ladies room I think think you owe me something for looking after you like this. Who knows what state you could've ended up in if it weren't for me, huh?"

I did not have time for this shit. 

He leaned in for a kiss and I threw one hand over his mouth, the other reaching into my stocking to get my emergency knife. In one swift move I punctured his heart. 

I pushed him off me, lay his body down on the floor and pulled the dagger out, wiping it clean on the inside of his jacket. I grabbed my phone out my clutch and cancelled my UberEats order. 

I was only supposed to kill one man today and this fucking asshole just added two more hours to my night.