holy water.

I've been listening to the album Saved by Now, Now a lot this week. This is the result of that.

Her head bumped against the window and shuddered as it hit the glass, the dirt track road making the suspension of the van work hard to stay in tact. She slowly opened her eyes to bright sunlight and dry dusty land, and grabbed her sunglasses from the arm rest to take the heat from her sight.

“Well good morning there. We're just jumping into a gas station, chance to stretch your legs.” Jay piped up from the drivers seat.

Jay seemed nice. He was in his late 60's with a salt and pepper beard and weather worn skin. His wrinkles told a story of adventure and wandering. She was lucky to have been picked up by him about 200km ago – she always checked the odometer when she jumped into a vehicle. He gave her lots of tips about hitchhiking; highways to avoid, good motels to sleep in, the best places to work for a free meal. He'd been there and done that and was finally on his way to spend a long weekend with a woman he had met around fifteen years ago in Arizona. She had just split from her husband a year ago and wanted to see Jay again. He said the ex was “a damn fool letting a diamond of a girl like that go”. It was when he was going into detail about all the facilities at Sea Oakes, the place where they would meet up after years of not seeing each other, having kept in touch only through letters, when Sam had started to drift off. She had no idea where she had woken up moments ago, but it was a relief to get outside for a while.

As Jay slide the van door open, the dry heat hit her instantly. She shoved a twenty into the back of her shorts and wrapped the tie of her flask round her wrist, hoping there would be a water fountain somewhere to fill up. She was also out of sunscreen and needed to stock up... she wasn't sure when she'd be able to get some next.

Jay started filling the van up and chucked Sam his wallet. “Pump number two, just put it on the MasterCard kay?” She held the wallet up and nodded, and was met with the ice cold air conditioning of the store.

Sam loved American gas stations. Every single one seemed to be completely unique. Some you could get mediocre sushi and gross kale smoothies from (0/10 would not recommend. Thanks Portland) and others had corndogs spinning in a rotisserie oven and root beer on tap. This one was filled to the brim with junk food and candy. She genuinely felt like a kid in a sweet shop – bright colours and shiny packaging everywhere. There were some “Vehicle Essentials” stuck in the back corner next to the toilets, which was where she figured any possible sunscreen might be. Two one litres tubs of SPF 30 for two dollars was a bargain she couldn't resist. And as she walked up to the cash desk, the little smiling ghosts of the heavily discounted, nearly at their best before date, Halloween Twinkies also made it into her purchase pile.

“Hey uh, paying for this with cash and can you stick pump two's gas on card please?”

“Certainly can ma'am. That's $2.75 for your stuff and $89.53 for your gas.”

The attendant handed her the change.

“You off anywhere exciting?”

Sam never knew what to say to this. How do you tell people you're wandering round the country with only your guitar and some recording equipment, looking for the perfect place to capture the sounds of the secrets that have spent years kept just behind your teeth? How do you tell them you ditched a place at college and the security of your suburban home to do so, leaving only a note for your parents to find? How do you tell them this is what you need to do, and that nobody could ever understand it or begin to comprehend it, but that it just needs to happen?

Sometimes she would lie and say she was off to surprise her boyfriend at college, or that she was going to a wedding, or that she was supporting her baby cousin at a pageant. Whatever the best story was for the person that was asking. When Jay picked her up she said she honestly didn't know, that maybe she was waiting for someone to show her the way. That was good enough for him and she jumped in, climbing into the passenger seat of a VW camper van that had definitely seen some milage over the years.

“My uncle and I are visiting a family friend.” she told the attendant.

“Aw how sweet, well you two enjoy your road trip"

“Yeah, thanks, have a good one”

She stuck the wallet in her back pocket, grabbed the Twinkies and the sunscreen and balanced them in her arms. Her water bottle clanged against her wrist.

“Shoot, hey, do you guys have a water fountain here?”

“Yeah honey, just out back by the air pressure pump"

“Sweet, thanks”

Going from the cool store into the dry heat felt like hitting a wall. She headed toward the van and slid the door open. Jay had wandered off to the side of the road, talking on the phone. She shoved the Twinkies and the sunscreen into the mini coolbox in the back, and put her change back into her purse. She kept Jay's wallet in hand to give back to him when he came back.

She went behind of the shop and found the water fountain. It had the worst pressure ever – it barely even came out as a trickle. Her flask took ages to fill up. When she eventually got as much water as she could stand to wait for, she headed back round to see Jay back in the van.

She wandered over and buckled up in the passenger seat again. She turned to see Jay with a big grin on his face.

“I think I might have found exactly what you're looking for”